Sunday, September 23, 2012
A tear in the fabric
Really, I have. Honestly. I swear on whatever really desperate people swear on, like parents' graves or their best friends' lives. I promise, with all my badly bruised and emaciated heart. I have tried. I have tried, emphatically, fanatically, and relentlessly to get over him. I have tried it all. I tried rekindling things, with a failure of epic proportions. I tried "the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone else," the clause to which, however, is that you must be under the someone in question at some point in time in order to get under the next candidate successfully. I tried petitioning for assistance, which he had pledged after reluctantly dropping me off into the "friend zone" when he was unable to ascertain why I didn't give him the personality he desired from me. I tried reasoning him out, to the "n'th" degree, all possible and/or viable logical courses, of course, dead-ended, matters of which mean nothing to a forlorn heart. I tried drinking him out, which lead summarily to vast oceans of tears. All of this while grappling with the very brutal reality that I was in the immediate process of losing my immediate family for all eternity. Over money, insecurity, and power struggles, of all the foolish things. This was while I was in Boston. One night, in early July, my heart manifested the phrase "I loved him then, I love him still. I always have, I always will" onto a scrap of paper. I used it as a bookmarker as I read my deceased mother's copy of "Eat, Pray, Love," which she had never managed to finish. After returning to Houston, my heart still ached for him. This is going on 5 years of separation. I wouldn't say I stalked him for the first two weeks; it was involuntary. My heart instructed me to drive, and so I went. I saw him one night, on the phone, in the shadows, as he walked down the driveway. His stature and gait were unmistakable, even in the darkness. My eyes would know him anywhere. Eventually, with some guidance from the Lord (which would be suitable for a different post), I managed to corral my erratic behavior. I set up a profile on a Christian dating website, and was "pre-dating" someone for about three weeks when I decided it just didn't feel right. I gave it my best, but that spark just wasn't there. That was two nights ago. It took one night's sleep to get me thinking about Jason again. Then, in my facebook feed tonight, something strange appeared. I honestly could not believe my eyes, and I have yet to discern what It means.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Breaking the language barrier
It happened again tonight. Sort of. I say sort of because I wasn't talking, I was thinking. But I envisioned the word in my head. "Lucky." As I sat at the table, cutting out would-be magnets from a poster board as a fun little crafty project I'm doing for my daughter, the television was on in the background. We were watching the Disney movie "Hercules," which I'd never seen before. I thought the female antagonist, Meg, was great; she was quite fetchingly sardonic, had sold her soul for Jason (only to have him betray her), and was grossly misunderstood. If the movie were more recent, it could have been a very accurate cinematic depiction of my life, albeit in cartoon. The movie sounded so much like my own life, only better, since my life isn't (but could be...) a fable of Greek mythology. Somewhere near the end of the movie, I thought to myself just how lucky I am, despite everything I've endured in the last 5 years. Cut to commercial, and within one second, from the television I heard, "Wouldn't you be lucky if..." I stopped listening after that. I already know I am.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Apples to Oranges
Is it possible to be annoyed by your own God-given "supernatural" talents? Because I am. I just found myself annoyed that I have clairvoyancy for things like words and phrases transmitted via radio waves, most of which have no apparent purpose, including dessert decisions. Stuff like that isn't (or, at least, doesn't seem) useful. I would really appreciate my clairvoyancy directing me toward a good man. The RIGHT man. C'mon, God! You know what I want. You know the secrets of my heart. Just putting it out there. Since I honestly don't understand how bringing me closer to apple pie is going to help me get closer to my future husband. Aren't apples, like, a man's kryptonite anyway? Are you comparing me to Eve? Is that it? Oh, bother. Maybe my tuning fork for the Almighty is just as bent out of shape as my love life.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Apples to apples
The tv is up to its hijinks again. Tonight, as I was pondering desert for my daughter and myself, the tv was on in the background. I had changed the channel from NPR on PBS (we had been watching kids' programing, then BBC America) to a food network that was discussing amazing meals prepared with fruit. You know, stuff that fancy restaurants make that leave both your eyes and your wallet hungry for more, and make you think your cooking is ksmediocre when obviously these people are professionals and you are Betty Crocker. The first few items were intriguing, such as the vietnamese green papaya salad, the cuban puff pastry with guava paste at a restaurant called Versaille in Miami, and the banana foster's at a hotel in Las Vegas. Recently, Marie Calender's pot pies have been on sale at HEB grocery store, including a free desert pie with each pot pie purchase. I'm not typically an apple pie fan, but for some reason I had decided to get one apple pie, the others included peach and berry pies. As I peered into the freezer, I decided it would be a good night to mix some almond dream prailine crunch with the one apple pie. Almost instantaneously after I made that decision, the television program began talking about an apple pie desert. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't even pay attention to the tv program after that. I started dancing in the middle of the room and my daughter was laughing at me all the while. I dont know why it happens, it just does, and leaves me bewildered and wondering when the clairvoyancy fairy will make its next appearance.
Can't fool me twice!
For reasons that require a different blog post, I found myself at the Toyota repair center last Friday. The glass of my passenger side-view mirror had been knocked out by a construction barrel as I was driving about 50 miles per hour onto an exit ramp. Miraculously, the housing was not damaged. Initially, I avoided going directly into the service center, and instead parked outside, in front of the parts center, and went up to the cashier's desk. When I got there, a nice young lady greeted me. I informed her of my dilemma, and asked her if they had the part available for my vehicle. She asked me if i had a work order, and I said no, I just wanted the part. She informed me that I would have to go through the service drive-thru in order for the technicians to analyze the maintenance requirements for my vehicle. At that point I asked her if there was still a minimum service charge for my car to be worked on. She looked at me like I had three heads. She said, "no, there's never been a minimum cost requirement for maintenance." I proceeded to tell her that the previous time I had work done on the car at that location, the service tech had told me that there was a $50 minimum for work just for pulling up. The lady at the desk laughed nervously and said, "sorry, ma'am, but I've never heard of that policy. If you want your car to be repaired, just go ahead and go into the service entrance." Reluctantly, I pulled into the driveway at the service center and explained to the service technician what had happened. He inspected the damage, but was uncertain if the part was in stock. He told me that Toyota would also conduct a routine maintenance evaluation free of charge. Leaving my car in his hands, I went inside and waited. As my daughter and I waited an hour and a half for the assessment, I contemplated my most recent experience there. So, the last service tech had been full of crap. What really upset me was that this was a dealership, not some sketchy used car lot on the side of the road. That nagging voice inside my head instructed me to be on my guard this time for some price gauging. By the time he finally came back with my car, the service tech showed me a laundry list of things that the dealership was recommending I have done to the car, including change the brake and transmission fluid (both of which were done in May before I drove across the country and back), and a recommendation that I have my cabin air filter changed because it was dirty. Let me tell you, there is no way they even checked that cabin air filter, because I accidentally bought the wrong one at O'Riley's before driving to New England, and I had to squeeze that thing in there to get it to fit. So. I was on to them at that point. Then, I noticed the tail-light mention, which a kindly New Englander had informed me of when I was in Bean Town. Not only did I know the tail-light was out, but there was also no way on God's Green Earth that I was going to shell out $35 for it, including labor! Since the mirror wasn't in stock, I would have to come back the next day. I told the guy I would come back, and that I needed both the mirror and the tail light repaired in order to pass my state inspection, slated for this month. That was true, I did need them both. I got back to where I stay, and mulled it over. I decided that I would at least give my Goodyear service center a courtesy visit to inquire about the cost of replacing the burnt out tail-light bulb. I remembered what the guy from my Goodyear service center had told me the previous month, when I went to have my oil changed after 6,000 miles...that I should come back there for my state inspection. I went in the next day, and, lo and behold, the same guy was at the counter. Some red-neck asian guy that reminded me of Khan from King of the Hill was arguing with him over the cost of four tires and an alignment. My guy was getting frustrated because not only did he offer to give this guy a $15 discount on each tire, but he was willing to throw in a complimentary alignment, worth $80! And the asian guy, tall and slouching, wearing a wife beater and cargo jeans with flippy-floppies, kept throwing a Costco evaluation in his face. Then he said he would be back tomorrow, and left. Looking all kinds of relieved, the Goodyear employee turned to me and, recognizing me, asked me "how can I help you?" I smiled, and told him about the mirror and the tail-light. I knew their location would not be able to install the mirror, since it was a distinct part, but when I told him how much they wanted to charge me at the dealership for the tail-light, he balked. I asked him how much they could do it for at his Goodyear location, and he replied, "no more than $10." That made my day. He told me it was busy that day, and to come back the next day. I told him I would, and reminded him that I needed my state inspection as well, so they could get two birds with one stone. He thought that was a great idea. I told him "See you tomorrow," and left for the dealership. Upon arriving at the dealership, I was completely confidant in my game plan. I entered the service area without hesitation, and thankfully was greeted by a different service technician than the day before. I told him about my open ticket work order, and that I was only interested in having the mirror replaced, none of the other "issues" that had been discovered the previous day. He had no problem with that, had me sign something, and took my car. After about two hours, it was finished, and cost a small fortune, yet not as much as it would have if I'd let them replace the tail-light. The next day, I drove over to my Goodyear location to get the inspection and the light replacement. After providing a copy of my vehicle insurance and handing over the keys, we waited about an hour and a half in the lobby. Another customer came in, who had an appointment, which contributed to the extended wait time, but the television was playing rerun episodes of Big Bang Theory, one of my favorite programs, so it made the wait tolerable. What was even better was my guy hooked me up - for the cost of the inspection, which was less than $5 more than what the dealership wanted to charge me just to replace the light bulb, I was out the door. My guy had comped the cost ofreplacing the light bulb, entirely! I was thrilled. My instincts had saved me money, but more importantly, they had brightened my day, and so did my guys at the Goodyear.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
God is Danish
Tonight, my daughter and I went out to get water from the very wonderful filtered, reverse osmosis'ed, and "carbon polished" water dispensers that exist here in Houston. As I went to fill my first container, I put my 30¢ into the machine, and pushed the button to dispense one gallon of water immediately as the machine let out a beep to acknowledge that the appropriate amount of funds had been received and that the machine was now ready to provide the water. As soon as I pressed that button, I gasped - I had neglected to take the cap off the container. I scurried to remove it, and whispered "oh jeez" under my breath, knowing that if I didn't get that cap off in a heartbeat, I would likely lose half a gallon of water. A drop of water fell from the machine. Then it stopped. I looked up toward the sky, pointed, and said "Thank you!" God had plugged the water like the Danish boy plugged the dam. It was only 30¢, but the Boss had my back on that one, since He knew I had already counted out correct change for the amount of water I had planned to get. I know it sounds crazy, but God really is everywhere.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Don't put the horse before the cart
Everytime I start getting all self-righteous, somehow or another, the powers that be in the universe (or multiverse, whichever you happen to believe in) quickly remind me that "they" are in control. Several days ago, for no particular reason, I began thinking of the phrase "don't put the cart before the horse." I wasn't having an internal monologue that would require to use this specific analogy; it simply, for some unknown reason began to come to mind several times a day, for several days in a row. This was last week. Tonight, on the phone with my daughter's grandmother, I was adamantly proclaiming that I would no longer be following the direct advice of men, because it never did me any good. She sort of laughed it off as some newfound sense of independence that was familiar to the overall theme of our discussion. However, after concluding our phone conversation and putting my daughter to bed, I recalled something eerily consistent with my clairvoyant manifestations. When I had gone to the bank yesterday to discuss the receipt of my pending inheritance and what I would like to do with it, the idea of purchasing a home naturally presented itself. When I told the financial advisor at the bank the possibility of deciding to purchase a home outright, he stated the phrase that had burned a whole in my head for several previous days, "Dont put the cart before the horse." Then he suggested that I rent an apartment in order to provide rental history to obtain a good mortgage rate, and I mentioned my anxieties about apartment living. Then he suggested renting a house, and I agreed that was a good compromise. I think, based on the profound synchronicity of the metaphor that he stated, that, on second thought, maybe I shouldn't give up entirely on following men's advice, especially if I an receiving supernatural messages beforehand, and then miraculously being able to recall them.
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